Monday, February 24, 2003

god, its late, but i feel like writing. today had work the whole day, was thinking of breaking at first, but in the end had to work. i realised something to do that dug at my the whole day. the aunties and uncle were talking abt youngsters now a days having relationship and tresting them like just a fling kinda thing. actually i was reading a sms in the kitchen den they were making a comment abt me smsing my girlfren, told them i didnt have one, but they didnt believe, watever, haha. den i heard them say,'' this ppl so young and go ard doing things like everybody is invisible and when break they start crying.'' then i remember wat i told myself when i was in secondary scool. told myself that i wasnt going to be like some of my frens going into relationships that easily and out of it even easier. i went thru secondary school relationship free but it was a tough one, u never know how it is to stop yurself from trying. den in jc, i decided not to let ppl that can make impact in my life pass by me. went for my first and it ended. the next thing i knew is that i did the thing i hated myself from doing. i don regret her being part of my life, i just regret her not being part of my life anymore. i didnt wan to get out of the relationship that easily, haiz, but watever. i'm shit.

she told me that she wanted to split coz she wanted to study. its seriously crap. now that squash is over for her, she'a kinda addicted to breaking. i felt bad for showing her a small freeze. afterall ahe said she wanted to study and now she's going for something else. i seriously don know, but i'm in no position to say anything. she can decide on her own on stuff she wans to do. guess the only thing i can do is not to teach her anymore stuff. she will probably ask other ppl which she did, but still i got no say. just hope everything turns out good for her, i mean her studies. a levels coming out soon, not excited nor worried at all. know its going to be shitty lo. damn, i hate myself. feel better telling someone out there wat i think. hope she won remember to read this.

bert
gilbert at 8:03 AM [comment]

{I hear voices, voices only half as humane as mine..}